#and then the only one she's come to trust upends her reality and deserts her

[thedasian]

sorry im high but i just got to thinking-

a reunion with lavellan and solas can only go two ways. either lavellan runs up and kisses solas after a decade of being apart and its all touching and heartwarming and shit

or lavellan rushes at him and punches him, and then everyone is terrified at the amount of steel hard balls lavellan must have to punch a dangerous elven god thats already killed thousands without hesitation

[syxjaewon]

expiration date, part 1; ‘illaia’

                                 rule five : the universe owes you nothing.

the call comes inconspicuously, a low hum in the relative quiet of his ship, the message entering the mainframe the same way most all of them do, to be gauged and assessed first by the piloting station, the bridge, before rerouted down to its intended recipient, in this case being yang jaewon. kinam’s voice carries through his communicator as he tells the captain there is a hail coming through for him, which he accepts despite the day being late, the evening hours setting in, his coat being somewhere on the bed, boots parked by his bedroom door.

when the incoming location arrives on his screen, it’s from zephyr, and there’s very few people on that planet at the moment who call him through these means; it must be vera, which is why he stands up straight, readjusts his shirt, perks to attention. they talk weekly, but she’s early, so he assumes it’s something important.

when the image finally cuts through however, jaewon is greeted by the dark brown eyes of saito kyoji, vera’s first mate of over ten years, another piece of the puzzle that had helped raise and shape jaewon into who he is today. of all the brigands and renegades who came and went from the ship under vera’s command, kyoji had always been the one man who could manage to keep up with her, the one man sturdy enough to weather through her storms, the one man who knew more about her than jaewon did himself.

“saito,” jaewon breathes, addressing him politely by his last name.

“yang,” the older man responds, his eyes warming, the creases in his skin forming pronounced there. he wears specs of grey in his hair now, a salt and pepper look that jaewon is not surprised still looks good on him. “it’s good to see you, you’re looking well.”

there’s always been a calming aura laced through kyoji’s presence, the man immobile, immutable, unphased despite whatever racket or turmoil raged around him— something jaewon has always envied and wished to emulate more than anything else. whereas vera is steel and hurricane, kyoji is earth and roots, the way mountains reach deep into planetary cores, every word from his lips a measured, calculated response, seemingly never confused or unsure about anything, the whole universe laid out for him and he’d barely bat an eye. he’d taught jaewon how to fight, knives and long-blades, how to shoot, how to stand your ground against impossible, insurmountable odds, how to stop running from the explosions ( as he’d done in his childhood ) and instead run towards them.

jaewon nods to the compliment, not really knowing what to say to that, how to properly respond; he’s never been any good with praise but thankfully kyoji is used to that by now and doesn’t take offense. “i didn’t know you were going to be on zephyr,” he tells his mentor, gold eyes flickering to the small spaces behind him, whatever he can see of the apartment he’s in— it doesn’t look like vera’s place, which is strange since whenever anyone visits, vera always insists they stay with her.

kyoji inhales deeply, something in his eyes darkening, sobering. “i didn’t know i was going to be, either. until yesterday.”

jaewon blinks a few times, an unsettling worry boiling up inside his system. something is wrong. something is not the same. “what’s happened?”

the older man hesitates, blinking, pausing, a pain leaking over his face for only a split second, not something jaewon is used to seeing, not something he’s used to registering when looking at his longest friend, the delay lasting only a few seconds yet somehow spanning out across a thousand years. his heart drops, his breathing holds, the whole universe around him mutes itself, preparing for the onslaught of what he knows is about to be something terrible, something horrific. kyoji never falters, never struggles, so what’s the one thing that could make him do so? jaewon almost doesn’t want to hear it, almost wants to rescind his question, go back to small talk, go back to last week when he and vera had argued, when he and vera had laughed, had confessed to caring too much about the other, back to when she was fine, she was alright, she was on the screen right in front of him.

“vera called me last night, sent me some messages to pass along to you and henry. i thought it was strange so i tried hailing her back but she wouldn’t answer. you know angel isn’t that far away from zephyr, so i just hopped on down here this morning and…” his eyes cut away from jaewon, staring past his screen, beyond it, beyond time. “she passed, rat. sometime in the night. apparently she was very sick, had been for a long while, probably before she even left her ship to you, probably why she left her ship to you. didn’t tell any of us, so…” his voice trails off for a moment, eyes hollow, voice grating but still steady, the baritone heavy like a stone sinking to the bottom of the ocean.

and that’s how jaewon feels. he can remember the first time he’d ever seen a massive collection of water, remember the first time he’d ever almost drown in one, the suffocation, the building pressure, the weight of the entire planet seemingly enclosing around every line and crevice of his body, the way there was nothing to hold onto, nothing to grab, nothing to reach, no way out. this is reality and there’s no way out. he can remember the way the surface looked from underneath it, like life slipping away from him, moving further and further, despite how hard he fought, despite how fast he tried to move, his limbs burdened by their own measure, slow and dumb, lungs aching, lips unsure whether to gasp or stay shut.

it’s unthinkable to imagine, but somehow the words leave kyoji’s lips and jaewon is already seeing it in his mind, vera blackhound, all ice and tempests, all lightning and power, devoid of movement, devoid of breath, heart gone silent, eyes closed. he can see the way the air gathers around her softly, dust particles themselves careful not to infringe too much into her space, the moonlight gliding in from her window, passing by, passing into morning while she lays still, stationary, stagnant. beyond that, he imagines her decaying, skin collapsing in on itself, growing grey and dry, growing brittle, her hair thinning.

somehow he’d never pictured this before, not in his entire fourteen years of knowing her, of talking to her. despite the lives they lived, the dangers they wrapped around themselves like blankets to hold, to sleep in, despite her waning body, age chipping away at her the same way it chips at marble statues, he’d never thought she could die. silly of him of course, because with as close as he’s ridden with death, he ought to expect it with everyone, he ought to know death hungers for everyone’s flesh, but not her— not the woman with more emotions kept in a single word than most people feel their entire lives, not the woman who’d survived love lost, family broken, who’d demanded the respect of men much larger than her, stronger than her, meaner than her.

illaia. the woman who’d given him everything.

he stands stock-still, so untouched for a moment he wonders if his heart is still beating— he knows his lungs aren’t working, his eyes have gone grey, his throat has closed. he can’t speak, can’t react; any expression given would be a catastrophe he’s unsure whether he would be able to hold back, the dam of his emotions cracking, threatening to overspill. he wants to think this is a prank, this isn’t real, this isn’t happening, that she wouldn’t just die like that without saying anything to him first, she wouldn’t just leave without one last soliloquy about how to take care of the ship better.

but then, much like jaewon, she’d always hated goodbyes.

kyoji continues, despite the whole universe grinding to a halt. “i’ve already talked to the other crew, they’re on their way to vallura for the wake. i’ll be leaving zephyr with her soon also. i’m forwarding you the messages she’d wanted me to give to you and henry, i trust you’ll pass along the engineer’s to him. and tell him i—”

“to valluria?” the words breech through jaewon’s lips out of sheer surprise, his registering of the words almost too late, his brain still somewhere at the bottom of an ocean. “vera was from ariel, why would she…?”

his question tapers off into the white-noise of his mind, the strange sort of non-silence that floods through him. kyoji’s eyes glance downwards for a moment, his own emotions verging on breakage as well, his voice coming through the screen as little more than a whisper. “you know, she’d always called me brother. and you son. we’re the closest to her, and no matter how far and hard we try to run from it, we’re still both vallurian. i think she always wished she was too.”

finally jaewon blinks, lowers his head, stares at the floor by his feet, the roots of him upended, his equilibrium capsized. she’d never once judged him for his background, had always coated him with pride, always allowed him to be confident in himself, even in the scars and damage that world left him with, and having kyoji there alongside her had always reinforced that even more. the two of them are the reason why he has any self-reliance at all, any dignity associated with valluria that he carries with him through the verse. they are the reason he’s never been ashamed to admit his background.

“the wake will be held there, in three days. i’ve named you the vigilant for the jan’hazal.” jan’hazal, valluria’s customary, deep-desert burial ritual; a pain in the ass, but also an honor and one jaewon has to accept simply because he must. kyoji’s voice strengthens a bit, hardens. “you’ll be there. right?”

“i’ll be there.”

“i’ll send you the coordinates.”

and just like that the screen cuts out and jaewon is alone in the dimly lit room as though things are supposed to continue on like nothing had happened. like he ought to be normal now, the verse and all its planets start spinning again. like everything hasn’t just dismantled itself, come unwoven around his ankles, the pieces all falling away, crumbling. he stares for a long moment, long after the small five-note beep of the secondary message coming through, two personal missives and a set of coordinates.

he deals with the coordinates first, puts his boots on and takes the palm-sized stick of information up to the bridge, nothing in his gait reminiscent of thunder or hail, his usual stride muted as he steps past members of his crew, eyes fixated downwards for once, unable to meet any of their gazes, unable to communicate with any of them. he winds his way onto the cockpit, setting the stick down onto the console in front of where yihan is sitting. when he speaks, his tone is deliberate, subdued. “follow this please. we’re changing course.”

he steps over to the intercom, picking up the small, handheld object into his hands, inhales and exhales fully before turning it on to address the whole of serenity.

“this is your captain speaking. i know we’re currently on route to boros to pick up a job, but unfortunately, plans have changed and we need to make a pitstop on valluria. we’ll be there only a day and a night, before leaving in the morning. this is not job related, this is… something personal to me. the original owner of serenity, vera blackhound, has passed and i’ve been named her vigilant to the wake. i would suggest everyone remain onboard and be ready to leave in the morning after the ritual, but it’s your decision.” the lump burns in his throat but he’s got to get through this, he has to. “henry, if you would come meet me in the mess hall, i have something to give to you.”

and with that, he cuts out.

[lifeisdabubbles-undersalmondean]

La Pomme ~ Chapter 12

Pairing: Sam x OC (eventual Dean x OC and Dean x Castiel. And I mean eventual.)

Series summary: George is a casual French-Mistake-universe Supernatural fan living in no-COVID 2020, who's life is upended when she's suddenly launched between realities, two years into the boys' past (S13E22). What begins as an insane, immersive fan experience turns into more when Jack goes missing and George offers up her AU information to help track him down. Soon it's discovered that she and Sam may actually have history. But that's impossible, right?

Word Count: 5,500

Warnings: {smut, fluff, angst, show level violence, swearing, mentions of suicide} ***Detailed warnings will be tagged for specific chapters.

A/N: Following the events of my prequel Paradise and second story From My Eyes Off. Reading those first gives context but isn’t necessary to start this one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

George was lounging in the warm bath water, trying to use breathing exercises to clear her mind and calm herself. It had been a long day, capping off a long almost-month inside the Supernatural Universe. There were so many questions she couldn't answer and she wished she could turn her brain off; focus on anything else.

"George?" She heard Dean's muffled call from the other side of the bathroom door. "You OK in there?"

"Yea," She answered quietly. "Just humiliated," She added with an eye roll.

"Don't sweat it," Came his unusually sympathetic reply. "We've all been there, or somewhere similar… or somewhere worse," He added off handedly, taking another bite of pie. It occurred to him suddenly that the two of them were alone and Dean had a thought. After a moment's hesitation, he swallowed his bite of pie and called timidly, "George?"

"Yea?" She responded curiously, her voice raised slightly to compensate for the sound barrier. There was such a long pause with no answer that she wondered if it had just been her imagination. As she was about to call out again, she heard him finally.

"Can I ask you something?" Came an inquiry so quiet she almost didn't hear it. He sounded uncharacteristically troubled and… nervous?

"Yea, sure," She answered gently.

"What do you know about Michael?"

"Michael who?" Came her quick, confused reply.

"The archangel? Asshole that's been wearing me as a suit the last few weeks?" She was suddenly reminded of the fact that she was living inside of a TV show and it stunned her into silence. "That Michael? Has he not been on the show or...?" The nervous huff in his reply shook her out of her stupor. She realized this must be a hard topic for him. Unfortunately, though, she didn't have any insight to give.

"Oh fuck, right, Michael," She swallowed and gathered her thoughts before replying with a sigh, "I'm sorry, Dean, I don't really know much. I hadn't started this season yet," She finished apologetically.

"Thanks," Came a sarcastic reply.

She frowned and defended, "Look, I have a life, dude! I get behind, I can't always tune in every Thursday! Trust me, no one is more sorry about that than me right now. Maybe if I had, I could have done something to prevent this insane situation." A heavy sigh dotted the end of her sentence pointedly. Then she had a strange, disconcerting thought:

Would you really have prevented this from happening if you had a choice?

The thought startled her and she guiltily refused to answer herself.

A welcome distraction for her was noticing the silence that followed her answer to Dean; George could tell he was still concerned. Reaching over and grabbing the door handle, she cracked it just enough to spy Dean sitting on the edge of the mattress, holding a take out box. He glanced at her almost imperceptibly and she could tell her eyes weren't exactly welcome, so she turned her head away but left the door open.

"Here's what I've heard/seen on accident," She started, pausing to think and then saying carefully, "He comes back somehow," She heard him bristle but kept going, "And you do something to trap him. Some kind of box… or maybe a walk-in freezer?" She was trying to organize the spoilers she'd seen and identify what was related to Michael and what wasn't. "I know that doesn't make a lot of sense and I'm sorry, but that's all I've got."

Dean sighed and shrugged, "It's alright, George. I'm just… feeling lost. Was hoping for some clues, but it's not on you to save my bacon." George gave a wry smile to the bath water and sat quietly for a moment.

Finally she turned her head to look at him and asked, "You want to know what I do know, Dean?"

Slowly, he turned to look at her with an intrigued eyebrow, "I don't know, do I?"

With an amused eye roll she spoke, "I know this--right now--this story line with alternate Michael? It's two seasons behind where you and your brother end up in my reality. And--at least as far as I remember--this alternate Michael isn't a starring role for very long."

Dean furrowed his eyebrows at her in consideration, "Meaning?"

She shrugged and offered, "Meaning, you figure this out. Like you always do. You will figure this out and you will beat Michael and be onto the next big bad, whomever that is. Which, don't even ask because I really have no idea. Haven't watched those seasons at all yet… I think there's one episode where you meet Scooby Doo?"

Dean smirked and rolled his eyes, telling her matter-of-factly, "We already did that."

"No shit?! That already happened?" When he nodded in confirmation George 'ughed' loudly, rolling her eyes, "Damnit, that must have been one of the ones I just watched. What was it like?! Was Shaggy really high? Was Daphne really hot? Was Scooby just adorable?!"

Dean chuckled and answered, "Uh, yes, hell yes, and duh! It's Scooby Doo! Of course he's adorable!"

"Was it weird to be animated?"

He shrugged a little, "Eh, kin-"

She cut him off with a gasp, "Wait! Was all of you animated, like.. did you have all your-"

He shook his head and proclaimed, "That's none of your business!"

"Sorry!" George apologized defensively, then begged, "Tell me you and Daphne-"

"George!" Dean admonished with feigned offense, "I don't kiss and tell."

She scoffed and guessed, "Struck out, huh?"

Dean frowned and simply said, "Her and Fred are an item. I didn't want to break that up," to which George laughed in disbelief.

"Yea, I got it. I think things are starting to come back to me now," George teased him and he shrugged in defeat, unable to deny the fact that he definitely struck out with Daphne. When her laughter died away, she looked at him again and said, "I'm sorry I can't be more of a help. I know, I know, it's not my job to save you but that doesn't mean I enjoy not being able to." They were quiet again for a minute and she sighed, "If I could just call Ryan."

"Who's he?"

"She is my Winchester Wiki," She explained very matter of factly and Dean stared at her with an annoyed expression. With a smile she continued, "She's my friend and she's also a fan of the show; Got me back into it later in life and, well lets just say, she pays closer attention than I do. She'd be able to help you with this whole Michael problem without breaking a sweat. Oh and she's gorgeous," George tossed on and Dean raised a curious eyebrow. She caught his curious expression and asked, "You don't happen to have a phone with trans-universal long distance coverage by chance?"

Dean snorted and shook his head in bemused defeat, "Not on me." He was frustrated that she didn't have more insight on Michael, though somewhat comforted by the fact that-at least in her reality-he wasn't dead yet. That was something, he guessed.

"So," George smirked at him, glee in her eyes, "American's Next Top Model, hmm?"

"What, are you surprised? A house full of attractive models?" Dean gave her an obvious expression.

She shark-mouthed understandably and nodded, "Fair point. Allison cycle 12? Ooof. Hello!"

Dean considered her assessment for a moment, then nodded agreeably but offered, "Mercedes, cycle 2."

George had to remember who that was for a minute but then nodded emphatically, "Yes! Gorgeous and she was good. She ended up top three, right?"

They compared notes for a few minutes, until he finished the last bite of pie in the container he was holding. Then he whipped out his phone and muttered in her direction, "Finish your bath. I'm gonna text Sam for more towels."

When Sam got the text he snagged a pile from a housekeeping cart on their way back to George's room. They had also stopped by the car and brought up a few bags, per his request. Dean carefully handed George the towels through the bathroom door, so as to not accidentally see any bits, and then turned to Sam for a room update.

"Bad news: no adjoining rooms. The best I could do was five doors down. Even more bad news: only one queen bed." Sam held up the room key with a feigned wince. "But listen, I don't think we should leave George alone, so I'll just crash on the floor in here and you can take the room."

"Wow, what a sacrifice," Dean chuckled knowingly at his brother and snatched the key from him. "Shouldn't we have Cas handle it, though?"

"No, why?" Sam protested a little too fast.

"Because he doesn't need sleep. He can keep an eye on the little deserter. Make sure she doesn't do it again?"

Sam frowned, "She's not going to. And if she does, I think I can handle it. How is she supposed to get any sleep with Cas staring at her all night?"

"I don't stare at people when they sleep," Cas interrupted. With a huff he clarified, "I stare at the wall."

Dean looked at the offended angel and shrugged, "It's not that bad. He's quiet. Honestly, it's kind of comforting when you think about it." There was an awkward pause and Dean added, "Sometimes he'll sing for you if you ask nice-"

"Dean," Castiel admonished him for sharing something so intimate. Cas only did that for him.

Sam looked between the two of their sheepish faces and then assured sarcastically, "Yea, a singing angel staring at the wall in the dark. Totally not creepy."

George came out of the bathroom wrapped in the clean towels from Dean. She was now looking a little sheepish as well, "Hey, sorry about earlier. All of it. I jus-"

"Ah, ah, ah!" Dean held up a hand to her. "Save it for the morning. You can spill your guts over breakfast. We couldn't get adjoining rooms, so Cas and I will be just down the hall; Sam will stay with you tonight. On the floor," He said pointedly with a 'behave' look toward Sam, who rolled his eyes in irritation. George nodded, barely listening, and let out a tired sigh.

Then she had a startling thought and groaned, "Shit. I'm going to have to put those crusty clothes back on."

Dean grinned proudly, "You're not the only one with surprise gifts." He took the bags that Sam and Cas had retrieved from the car and set them down on the wooden table.

"What's this?" She asked, grabbing one of the handles and peeking into the bag where she spotted the Friends logo hoodie she'd picked out at Target. "My clothes? My deodorant?! Oh Dean! Thank you so much! I would kiss you but you have pie like… all over your face, but thank you!" As she dug into the bags to search for the PJs, Dean looked questioningly at Sam and Cas who nodded in confirmation.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Dean grumbled, moving over to the sink to wipe his face. Sam shrugged in feigned innocence, laughing internally at his idiot brother.

"How did you get all the clothes I picked?" She asked, impressed.

"We got lucky; Sam happened to hear one of the employees complaining about a nutty woman who'd run from the store like a bat outta hell and abandoned all her stuff," Dean gave her a pointed stare.

She looked first at Sam, and then Cas and Dean, with immense gratitude, "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Her spirits had been lifted a little. The fresh underwear alone was going to make her feel a thousand times better.

"They mentioned they'd already put back one or two items when we asked about it, so hopefully we got the right replacements." Sam warned her.

"I don't care! I can apply deodorant and brush my teeth; I'm sure I can put together at least one clean outfit with what's here! So I'm hap-" She suddenly stopped and froze, having discovered a strange item in one of the bags. "Wha?" In one swift motion she pulled out a pale pink lace bodysuit and held it up for them to see. With an annoyed, yet curious expression she looked at Dean and asked, "Someone care to explain this?"

Dean held his hands up in innocence and Sam inspected the garment in confusion.

"It looked nice on the mannequin and the Target associate who helped me pick it out said it was bold, yet feminine. Perfect for the new woman in my life," Castiel happily explained, sounding as though he was reciting someone else's words.

George blushed a bit, looking at Sam and Dean like 'is he for real?', unsure how to respond. Both men shrugged unhelpfully, avoiding eye contact with the item she was still holding, and remained quiet. Cas seemed so proud, she didn't want to ruin it.

Finally, she stuttered out, "Wow. OK, well… thanks. Very thoughtful of you, Castiel…"

"If you wanted to provide me with your exact measurements, the sales associate offered to help me pick out a 'matching bra and panty se'-"

"OK, why don't we quit while we're ahead, eh Buddy?" Dean grabbed up four of the remaining takeout boxes and motioned for Cas to do the same. He then reached for the pink, lacey material in George's hand, jokingly trying to take it from her.

She swatted him with it and held it out of his reach, "Hey! You're the old woman in his life."

He couldn't help but laugh in response, though he shook his head in annoyance, and then headed out the door with the angel in tow, "See you crazy kids in the morning!"

When they left George looked at Sam curiously, "Is it wrong that I kind of want to give Cas 'my measurements' and then watch him try to pick out lingerie?"

Sam smirked in amusement but nodded, "Yes."

"Oh, you're no fun," George chuckled and tossed the teddy back into the bag.

"Perhaps the wrong audience?" He suggested with a chuckle.

"Yea, that's fair," She agreed. While she rifled through the bags and grabbed out some black PJ pants, a light blue, short sleeved t-shirt, and a pair of underwear, Sam watched her quietly. To say he was relieved to find her safe and unharmed was an understatement. He'd also been thrilled by her admission that she liked it here, but, like Cas, he was curious what it meant. And what it could mean for him.

Does she like it enough to stay maybe? He cursed at himself for even thinking it.

"Uh, George?" He finally pushed through the nerves and forced himself to speak.

"Hmm?" She responded curiously, not looking up from her bags just yet.

He tried to adopt a nonchalant, yet comforting tone and asked, "When you were saying earlier that you felt… comfortable here? Like you belong? What did you mean?"

Pausing her rummaging, she glanced over at him, caught off guard by the question. Truthfully, she didn't know if she could answer it. She was quiet for a long time, trying to decide how deep she wanted to get into this.

Finally, she turned to him and said, "Back home I… I've always had this strange, out of place feeling. Major dysphoria my whole life and kinda irritatingly painful too, like... full body restless leg syndrome. I've always imagined it similar to how a trans individual might experience feeling like they were born in the wrong body, ya know?" Sam made a noise of confirmation and she continued, "Except, my body is fine--well, it's not the cause of this problem anyway," they chuckled together.

"It's more… my whole being was wrong somehow, like I didn't belong. Anywhere. I had trouble connecting with people and making friends; even my own family seemed so different from me. I felt like I was on a different wavelength than other people, and not in a snooty, I'm-better-than-anybody way but like a sad, I-have-hardly-any-friends-because-I-can't-relate way, so it sucked. Hard. My family wasn't much help; though they tried to help by testing me for every 'disorder' you could think of. Nada. I was just… inexplicably different and no one could explain why. I could barely explain what I was feeling. They--my parents--were surprisingly relieved when I came out after college. For them, my 'struggle with the fact that I liked boys and girls throughout my childhood' explained everything away so perfectly, that they wrote it off right then and there. But it never had to do with that; my sexuality was nothing I ever struggled with, I just didn't feel like I needed to tell them. And since I'm still queer in this reality..." She trailed off her point, allowing him to fill in the blanks, with a chuckle.

Sam nodded with a sympathetic smile, clearly reading on her face how painful her experience had been. Gently he asked, "And now, being here, i-in this reality, you feel...?"

Her head tilted to the side and, looking at him wide-eyed, she sighed deeply, "Now? God, now, I feel… normal? Or, at least what I can only assume normal people feel like." Suddenly her voice was heavy with deep emotional relief, "I don't know how to explain it… and I don't know why, maybe I don't even care why, but I feel so good for the first time in forever. Emotionally, spiritually, physically... The constant restless buzzing is mercifully just gone. Sometimes I think I feel it again--that terrible, agonizing discomfort--and my heart skips a beat. But then my brain registers that it really is gone and I still feel good! And that feeling is almost better than the best sex I've ever had."

Sam shark-mouthed in surprised appreciation and teased kindly, "So, I guess you did know how to explain it?"

George let out the breath she hadn't realized she was holding with a chuckle and nodded, "Yea, I guess so. Honestly, I'm a little scared to go back," A few tears that had welled up as she was proselytizing spilled down her cheeks uncontrollably and she reached up to wipe them away, blushing lightly.

As George contemplated her admission in the silence, the guilt she felt over leaving them earlier was back. Why the hell did she leave if she'd felt so damn good here? She also felt like a stupid, impulsive child running away from the only people who seemed to care about her, at least insofar as they didn't want her to die. She felt especially guilty that Sam had stuck his neck out for her with Dean and she'd basically stomped on it.

Sam stood awkwardly, watching her with an empathetic grimace. He nearly leapt over to comfort her but… Christ, was this situation complicated. Maybe if things were different, maybe if she wasn't safer in her old reality, maybe if they hadn't handcuffed her to a chair and interrogated her, maybe if she hadn't spent the last few hours crying through an existential crisis, maybe if he wasn't terrified she would push him away in disgust? Maybe if she wasn't practically naked right now... maybe then he wouldn't feel so torn about walking over and wrapping her up into a bear hug.

After a moment of nervously wringing her fingers, George met his eyes and took a deep breath, apologizing, "I'm sorry I ran, Sam. I don't even really know why I-"

"Hey, you don't have to explain anything to me," Sam shook his head definitively, taking a few small steps toward her, now within arms reach. "I understand what you're going through-sort of, and you know, in reverse but still-I get it. Don't worry about it," He reached over and took her hand, squeezing it, "I'm just happy I found you."

At his touch, her heart skipped a beat and she felt her whole body flush, goosebumps forming on her skin. The sincerity in his voice and the look in his eyes nearly made her physically swoon. Was that an admission of something or just a subtextless statement of forgiveness? Staring into his eyes made her feel like she was on the downswing of the world's tallest roller coaster. She had to force herself to break eye contact before she could breathe again. He squeezed her hand once more before slowly letting go and as he did she had a realization.

"Thank you." Mustering up a smile through her butterflies, she clumsily grabbed the clothing she needed. "Anyway, I'm suddenly very, very aware of the fact that I'm naked-oh and have been since the three of you got here," She realized, blushing again. Jesus, I took a bath with Dean Winchester in the next room. Her legs felt like jelly as she tried to remain cool, calm, collect, walking toward the bathroom, "Uh, so, I should probably go put some clothes on, now."

Sam nodded understandingly and said with an earnest expression, "Hopefully not on my account." When George froze mid step and jerked her head towards him, burning red from head to toe, he faltered, "Er-uh-I just meant, you don't need to feel uncomfortable naaak-err-without-I mean you aren't making me uncomfortable while-without… clothes." George was relaxed by his shy, adorable stuttering, although at this point 'shy' surprised her. He'd been just as bold back at the bunker, more than once. He sighed and gave her a meek smile, "Uh, somehow this sounded less creepy in my head."

With a chuckle she put him out of his misery, "Relax, Ravenclaw, I understand. It's not on your account, it's on mine," She assured him, to which he nodded thankfully, a relieved expression on his face. She turned back to the door of the bathroom, pushing it open and stepping in.

When she exited the bathroom again, now fully clothed, the only light in the room was now the small, soft light above the bed. At first, the room seemed empty and George wondered if she'd scared Sam away with all her emotions. She was about to call out for him when she finally noticed a pair of big old feet sticking out from along the side of the bed near the window.

"Sam? What are you doing?" She walked over and found him lying on the ground on top of one solitary blanket.

"Just relaxing." He shrugged boyishly.

"On the floor?"

He clarified, "On my bed."

"Sorry, this tissue paper is supposed to be your bed?" She asked for clarification.

"Standard issue motel comforter. And, yea, it's perfect," He reached down on his side and pulled the right side of the blanket over himself. "See, you just fold the top over and it becomes a mattress and a blanket in one!" He seemed genuinely pleased about his makeshift accommodations, as though he was sharing a trade secret with her.

"Wow," she tried to sound impressed, "clever." She hopped onto the bed above him complimenting a bit sarcastically, "Quite the boy scout, aren't you?"

His head jerked up to look at her. There it was again. Another line direct from his dream falling familiarly from her lips. Hearing the pet name conjured images in his mind of the dream woman saying it. It felt identical.

But, how? That dream wasn't real. It was just Gabriel. George is a different woman, it's just a coin-

"Hey, can I ask you something?" George cut into his internal panicking with a soft voice suddenly.

"Yep?" He tried to seem nonchalant.

"Well… OK, I'm just going to say this because fuck it, I have nothing to lose at this point," She wasn't looking at him but sensed his nervous curiosity right away. Ignoring her own butterflies, she said, "Seems to me that the Sam I met at the bunker would have committed to that earlier 'unintended' innuendo." She raised a sideways brow at him, checking out of the corner of her eye to make sure he understood what she was referencing. When she could tell he did, she finally turned her head to meet his eyes and with a shy smile asked, "So, what gives?"

Sam considered her question for a minute; he wasn't sure where to start. Finally he folded his hands in his lap and shrugged sadly, "Actually, uh-about that, I feel like I owe you an apology."

Oooh, that doesn't sound good, George tried to hide her grimace. Her stomach started twisting in painful knots. What's that you were saying about nothing to lose?

"Por que?" She was trying to stave off a cold sweat.

"For… Well, I guess, how about handcuffing you to a chair and interrogating you for starters? For allowing you to be sexually assaulted by a demon? For letting you risk your life to come with us on this hunt? For hitting on you when you were obviously going through a difficult time? Take your pick."

She let out a breath of surprised relief and smiled curiously, "Oh… well in that case, let me just say: one, your brother was the one who handcuffed me to the chair--and it was understandable. Two, it's not your responsibility to protect me from the likes of Tim. He wasn't the first creep and he won't be the last." He seemed thoroughly unsatisfied by that response, so she tried to lighten it up by continuing, "And three, you didn't let me come on the hunt. Clearly I strong armed you." A tiny snort of amusement emitted from him and she smirked, then added curiously, "And, lastly, just to be clear… you were hitting on me?"

He huffed in humiliation, running his hand over his face, unable to look at her, "God, I feel like a real jackass." A blackhole was growing in the pit of his stomach. "Your world was literally turned upside down and you needed help not--not some weird, bunker dwelling asshole making advances."

"Uh, Sam," At first George laughed; the absurdity of the hottest man on television apologizing for hitting on her struck her funny bone. However, when it registered just how sober the tone of his voice was, the reality of the situation hit her again like a ton of bricks. She realized that part of her was still anticipating Jared to break at some point and reveal all of this had been an elaborate set up. It hadn't occurred to her yet that, for Sam, this was all real. His sincerity touched her.

She swallowed down the rest of her laughter, along with her typical smartass response, and smiled kindly, "Thank you for the apology and I appreciate the thought, I really do, but it's not necessary. You had no idea, considering I lied to you--which I'm also sorry about if I haven't already said that." That last part came out quickly upon realizing she might not have apologized yet. He gave her a kind smile and waved her off gently, so she continued, "So, please don't feel guilty. And I'll let you know if your advances are ever unwanted. Promise."

The deja vu hit him again so hard it knocked the wind out of him. His eyes snapped up to meet hers from his spot on the floor. A blush creeped across her cheeks as he stared curiously. She was back on the roller coaster, butterflies tumbling in her gut, but forced herself to keep eye contact, allowing him to conduct his search. She wasn't sure what he was so determinedly looking for but she hoped he was finding it.

A mix of emotions wrestled within him at the moment. Though he knew logically it made no sense, he was having a harder and harder time denying that he knew this woman, intimately--in every sense of the word. But, how?! And, holy shit, was she saying what he hoped she was saying? He could feel his hopes skyrocketing while he struggled to hold them down in self-preservation.

A huge yawn broke out on her face, ruining the moment and snapping Sam out of his stupor.

"Whoa, Jesus," She laughed a bit, surprised by the force of the yawn.

"Time for bed?" Sam tried to mask his disappointment at the disruption. She nodded agreeably.

"Listen, could you at least take a pillow, please? One pillow? For me?" Pulling the sheets back, so she could climb in, she yanked a pillow out and tossed it over the edge of the bed. She heard it land with an audible POOMPF right on his face. "Oops," she said with a snicker, reaching over to turn off the lamp on the table while he adjusted the pillow behind his head.

Sliding up under the covers, she settled down on her back. The deafening silence in the room allowed her mind to wander freely while she stared up at the ceiling. After a moment she rolled onto her side and peeked over the edge of the bed, surprised to find Sam's beautiful hazel eyes staring intensely back at her in the dark.

She whispered, "Sam?"

"Yeah?" Came a soft, low rumble, as he continued to stare back.

"How did you find me?" She wondered.

"Uh…" He turned away from her quickly and shifted nervously. He felt compelled to be honest with her; luckily the shroud of darkness made him bolder than he would have been in the harsh light of day. "We tracked you through the cab company mostly. Lost your trail at the diner and then… I'm not really sure. We were driving around and when I saw the sign for the motel I… uh, just had a strong feeling that you were here?"

"...uh huh." His answer surprised her. So much so, that she had to break eye contact and lay back down. She stared at the ceiling in shock.

What did that mean?

Though even as she asked herself the question, she had a feeling that she already knew. It was a feeling that didn't exactly put her at ease; raising more questions than it answered. She mulled it over for a few moments, before deciding she was too tired to pull at that thread.

She finally shrugged a little and said, "Good instincts?"

"Yeah… that must be it," He trailed off, having a nearly identical conversation with himself, and they fell silent again.

"Sam?" She said, choking back a nervous laughter. When she heard him respond with a curious grunt she hesitated. Finally, she blurted in a quiet, definitive whisper, "Samgirl. No question." When she could hear the smile behind another, practically silent--as though he was trying to hide it--grunt of confirmation she smiled wide, adding quickly, "And just so you know, that is the first and last time you will ever hear me utter that silly term of my own volition."

"Understood," He murmured in a teasingly serious tone, making her laugh quietly.

With another big yawn, she forced herself to stop engaging. Before rolling over, she tossed over her shoulder, "And don't tell Dean. He'll be devastated and we have a job to do." The sound of his joyful chuckling was the last thing she heard before sleep overtook her.

[reincarnatedasacupcake]

art by Stellaarts

Another month has gone by and I am really enjoying this whole summer vacation thing. That being said, I can't wait to go back to school in the fall, but I will take the time to relax and read while I have it. Here's what I read this month:

Long May She Reign

by Rhiannon Thomas

422 Pages (10:30 Hours)

Freya was never meant to be queen. Twenty-third in line to the throne, she never dreamed of a life in the palace, and would much rather research in her laboratory than participate in the intrigues of the court. However, when an extravagant banquet turns deadly and the king and those closest to him are poisoned, Freya suddenly finds herself on the throne. She may have escaped the massacre, but she is far from safe. The nobles don't respect her, her councillors want to control her, and with the mystery of who killed the king still unsolved, she knows that a single mistake could cost her the kingdom-and her life. Freya is determined to survive, and that means uncovering the murderers herself. Until then, she can't trust anyone. Not her advisers. Not the king's dashing and enigmatic illegitimate son. Not even her own father, who always wanted the best for her but also wanted more power for himself. As Freya's enemies close in and her loyalties are tested, she must decide if she is ready to rule and, if so, how far she is willing to go to keep the crown.

This was a lovely book that I truly enjoyed. Only in fantasy can you find an awkward girl who loves science and has severe anxiety who becomes queen simply because she couldn't stand to be social. I love it! As soon as I finished it I went to look for the next book in the series, only to find out that it was a stand alone book! Don't see much of that these days. It's kind of nice that it can stand on it's own, although I would totally read more about this amazing woman trying to do her best to be queen and still be herself.

Soppy

by Philippa Rice

108 Pages

True love isn’t always about the big romantic gestures. 

Sometimes it’s about sympathizing with someone whose tea has gone cold or reading together and sharing a quilt. When two people move in together, it soon becomes apparent that the little things mean an awful lot. The throwaway moments in life become meaningful when you spend them in the company of someone you love. 

SOPPY is Philippa Rice’s collection of comics and illustrations based on real-life moments with her boyfriend. From grocery shopping to silly arguments and snuggling in front of the television, SOPPY captures the universal experience of sharing a life together, and celebrates the beauty of finding romance all around us.

This is a very sweet book and I see a lot of reflection of this love in my real life, which is super nice. It reminds you that love is in the little things and that we all show our love differently. I had always loved when I came across some of these comics online, so I was thrilled when I found the whole collection of them.

The Kitchen House

by Kathleen Grissom

369 Pages

When a white servant girl violates the order of plantation society, she unleashes a tragedy that exposes the worst and best in the people she has come to call her family. Orphaned while onboard ship from Ireland, seven-year-old Lavinia arrives on the steps of a tobacco plantation where she is to live and work with the slaves of the kitchen house. Under the care of Belle, the master's illegitimate daughter, Lavinia becomes deeply bonded to her adopted family, though she is set apart from them by her white skin. 

Eventually, Lavinia is accepted into the world of the big house, where the master is absent and the mistress battles opium addiction. Lavinia finds herself perilously straddling two very different worlds. When she is forced to make a choice, loyalties are brought into question, dangerous truths are laid bare, and lives are put at risk.

A masterfully written book that really hits you in the heart. This was one of my LLB for the year and I'm really glad that I finally decided to pick it up. It's one of those books that discuss race, gender and the terrible treatment of each in the past. For people that loved The Help, The Secret Life of Bees, The Invention Of Wings and other similar books that break our hearts and remind up that we need to do better.

Garnet's Story (The Lone City #1.25)

by Amy Ewing

100 Pages

In The Jewel and The White Rose, we follow Violet in her servitude under the Duchess of the Lake. Now we’ll hear the Duchess’s son, Garnet’s, story in this digital novella—a companion story to the New York Times bestselling Lone City trilogy.

Garnet, the son of the Duchess of the Lake, has always been a spoiled playboy. But now, for the first time, Garnet is beginning to realize the horrors that his family, and the ruling community, have perpetrated. And he just may be ready to do something about it.

Unlike the other short stories for this series, I actually really enjoyed this one. Yes, it is a reiteration of the other book, but is a totally different, unique story. I really enjoyed watching Garnet and the beginning of his transformation. 

Adventure Time Vol. 1 (Adventure Time Volume 1; issues 1-4)

by Ryan North, Braden Lamb & Shelli Paroline

128 Pages

It's ADVENTURE TIME! Join Finn the Human, Jake the Dog, and Princess Bubblegum for all-new adventures through The Land of Ooo.

The totally algebraic adventures of Finn and Jake have come to the comic book page! The Lich, a super-lame, SUPER-SCARY skeleton dude, has returned to the the Land of Ooo, and he’s bent on total destruction! Luckily, Finn and Jake are on the case...but can they succeed against their most destructive foe yet? Featuring fan-favorite characters Marceline the Vampire Queen, Princess Bubblegum, Lumpy Space Princess and the Ice King!

Adventure Time... come on and grab a friend... This was pretty much what you would expect from an Adventure Time comic. I think my favorite part was that they introduced a new princess; desert princess, who is a cupcake who had sand powers. Love it.

It's All Absolutely Fine

by Ruby Elliot

256 Pages

IT'S ALL ABSOLUTELY FINE is a darkly comic, honest and unapologetic illustrated account of the daily struggles with mental health. Ruby Elliot, aka Rubyetc, is the talent behind the hit tumblr account, 'Rubyetc', which has over 220k followers and growing. Taking readers on a journey through the ups and downs of life, the book will encompass everything from anxiety, bipolar disorder and body image to depression and identity, shining a light on very real problems - all framed with Ruby's trademark humour and originality.

Ruby balances mental health with humour, making serious issues accessible - and very funny. With the superb talent to capture the essence of human emotion (and to make you laugh out loud), this book is as important and necessary as it is entertaining. IT'S ALL ABSOLUTELY FINE will include mostly never-before-seen material, both written and illustrated, and will be an empowering book that will make you laugh, make you think, and make things ok.

This is another of those comics that I always loved when I saw online, but wow was this book intense. I wasn't quite expecting that. Her comics can be too real and really hit you when you aren't expecting it and her writing gives you a look into her sometimes gritty reality that she tries to deal with through her humor. That be said, the humor is great, but not something to read to cheer yourself up. I made that mistake.

666 Park Avenue (666 Park Avenue #1)

by Gabriella Pierce

320 Pages (9:28 Hours)

What if your mother-in-law turned out to be an evil, cold-blooded witch . . . literally?

Ever since fabulously wealthy Malcolm Doran walked into her life and swept her off her feet, fledgling architect Jane Boyle has been living a fairy tale. When he proposes with a stunning diamond to seal the deal, Jane can't believe her incredible luck and decides to leave her Paris-based job to make a new start with Malcolm in New York.

But when Malcolm introduces Jane to the esteemed Doran clan, one of Manhattan's most feared and revered families, Jane's fairy tale takes a darker turn. Soon everything she thought she knew about the world—and herself—is upended. Now Jane must struggle with newfound magical abilities and the threat of those who will stop at nothing to get them.

This is the other LLB for the month. Yes, I am trying to catch up, since I am already so far behind with these. I tried to read this book a few times and kept putting it back down in favour of something better. Finally I found a copy of the audiobook on the Library and decided to listen to it instead. MUCH better idea. That being said, it still wasn't a great book. There were so many red flags going on that it was hard not to grimace through most of it. I'm glad it ended like it did, but I'm not going to pick up the next book.

A Wicked Thing (A Wicked Thing #1)

by Rhiannon Thomas

337 Pages (8:42 Hours)

A spinning wheel.

A prick of a finger.

A Terrible curse.

One hundred years after falling asleep, Princess Aurora wakes up to the kiss of a handsome prince and a broken kingdom that has been dreaming of her return. All the books say that she should be living happily ever after. But as Aurora understands all too well, the truth is nothing like the fairy tale.

Her family is long dead. Her "true love" is a kind stranger. And her whole life has been planned out by political foes while she slept. Everyone expects Aurora to marry her betrothed and restore magic and peace to the kingdom before revolution tears it apart. But after a lifetime spent locked in a tower for her own safety, Aurora longs for the freedom to make her own choices. When she meets a handsome rebel, she is tempted to abandon everything for a different kind of life.

As Aurora struggles to make sense of her new world, she begins to fear that the curse has left its mark on her, a fiery and dangerous thing that might be as wicked as the witch who once ensnared her. With her wedding day drawing near, Aurora must make the ultimate decision on how to save her kingdom: marry the prince or run.

A Wicked Thing is a surprising, spellbinding reimagining of what happens after happily ever after.

I enjoyed Long May She Reign (see above) so much, I looked to see what else she had written and came across another series by her that was right up my ally. What? A retelling of Sleeping Beauty after she wakes up waaaay in the future! Yes! Gimme gimme gimme....

I inhaled this book, listening to it as often as I could and finding excuses to have it on in the background. I would've gone right into the second book (yes, this one has a second book!) had I not had a few other audiobooks waiting in my auto-checkout. But I can't wait to get back into it.  

Suffragette: The Battle for Equality

by David Roberts

128 Pages

2018 marks a century since the first women won the vote in the United Kingdom, and Suffragette tells the story of their fight. This is a tale of astounding bravery, ingenuity, and strength. 

David's conversational style is accessible and his artwork full of rich detail, bringing to life the many vivid characters of the Suffragette movement - from the militant activist Rosa May Billinghurst to the world-famous Emmeline Pankhurst. Covering the whole range of suffragette experiences - from aristocrats to the middle and working classes, as well as a look at the global struggle for universal suffrage, Suffragette is a fantastic introduction to a fascinating topic.

This book was really neat; part book and part comic. History always seems to skip over these brave and crazy women that got us the vote and it was really neat to get to know more about them. Wow, some of them were super intense with their methods and suffered awful consequences. The one thing that I was sad about was that the last couple of pages were dedicated to women of colour who had helped in their own countries, but there was almost no acknowledgement of the fact that WOC fought along side these other women and were relegated to the back of the parades and congregations. 

Temporally Out of Order

by Joshua Palmatier & Patricia Bray

294 Pages

It’s frustrating when a gadget stops working. But what if the gadget is working fine, it’s just “temporally” out of order? What would you do if you discovered your cell phone linked you to a different time? Or that your camera took pictures of the past? 

In this collection, seventeen leading science fiction authors share their take on what happens when gadgets run temporally amok. From past to future, humor to horror, there’s something for everyone. 

Join Seanan McGuire, Elektra Hammond, David B. Coe, Chuck Rothman, Faith Hunter, Edmund R. Schubert, Steve Ruskin, Sofie Bird, Laura Resnick, Amy Griswold, Laura Anne Gilman, Susan Jett, Gini Koch, Christopher Barili, Stephen Leigh, Juliet E. McKenna, and Jeremy Sim as they investigate how ordinary objects behaving temporally out of order can change our everyday lives.

I pick up this book because it had a Seanan McGuire story in it and not really realizing that it was a bunch of short stories. As all collections like this, they can be super hard to read. I'm not a huge fan of short stories and I find very few people can tell them well. There were only a few that I really enjoyed and they others ranged from okay to (when will this be over) terrible. The authors I did like I ended up looking up to see if I could find other books by them, so if nothing else, I did find more books to read.

Spell on Wheels, Vol. 1 (Spell on Wheels #1-5)

by Kate Leth, Megan Levens, Marissa Louise, Jen Bartel & Nate Piekos

136 Pages

A road trip story. A magical revenge fantasy. A sisters-over-misters tale of three witches out to get back what was taken fom them.

Andy, Jolene, and Claire aren't your average twenty-somethings. They're legacy witches making their way through a modern world. When a jealous nonmagical ex breaks into their home and steals a spell that could awaken potentials with magical powers, the witches plan their revenge. Traveling down the East Coast, they must retrieve their powerful stolen artifacts and strengthen their friendship... the big bad is even worse than they imagined.

I need more of this. Why isn't there more of this? This comic was so fun and fabulous that I couldn't put it down. I want more stories about these 3 women. I want novels about them; full series of them. Or at least more comics if you please.

Lumberjanes (Lumberjanes #3)

by Noelle Stevenson, Grace Ellis & Brooke A. Allen

27 Pages

The girls have a lot more to worry about than crazy creatures and supernatural events...they have FIELD DAY. It's a competition between the Lumberjanes and the Genteel boy camp next door that's going to be filled with surprises!

I love this gaggle of girls who are ready for crazy adventures. I really wish that these comics had been out when I was younger. It's nice to see. In this volume they come across a secret cave full of magical traps and pit falls and it will take all of them working together to make it through.

A Tangled Web (Five Hundred Kingdoms #5.5)

by Mercedes Lackey

91 Pages

Kidnapping Persephone should have been an easy task. But in the Five Hundred Kingdoms, nothing's ever simple—and the wrong blonde goddess is stolen by mistake, leaving Prince Leopold without his new bride. At least until he braves the realm of the dead to get her back...

I think I've mentioned over the last couple of years that I've been disappointing in the material that Mercedes Lackey has been putting out. But I remembered loving this series of fairy tales turned on their head and couldn't wait to read this short story about Persephone. I shouldn't gotten my hopes up. It wasn't very good. The story takes place on Olympus and in the Underworld, which was interesting, but none of the characters had any life to them. Some of the main characters are secondary characters from the book before, but I can't recall them at all. It spends half the book trying to remind you of their adventures from before (which I am still coming up blank on. 2010 was a long time ago) and doesn't really go into the story that it's in. The only flipping of the story is that these 2 other people are involved in helping and that Persephone knows who Hades actually is from the beginning. 

Henchgirl

by Kristen Gudsnuk

304 Pages

Mary Posa hates her job. She works long hours for little pay, no insurance, and worst of all, no respect. Her co-workers are jerks and her boss doesn't appreciate her. He's also a supervillain. And her parents... well, they're the most famous superhero couple in Crepe City, along with her sister. Cursed with a conscience, Mary would give anything to be something other than a Henchgirl, but no matter what she does her plans always seem to go awry.

This was a really fun comic. Sometimes it's nice to read about the bad guy or his henchpeople. This comic takes a lot of wacky twists and turns that I wasn't expecting and has a great cast of heroes and villains. I also love all the little pop culture Easter-eggs that keep popping up. This is another series that I want more of.

Fraggle Rock: Journey to the Everspring #1

by Kate Leth & Jake Myler

27 Pages

When the water supply of Fraggle Rock mysteriously runs dry, the Fraggles have to journey deep into the caves of Fraggle Rock to find the fabled Everspring where adventure awaits and no Fraggle has gone before! It's the beloved characters of Fraggle Rock in their biggest story yet!

I thought this would be another fun volume to read, but it turned out to only be the first comic. It's very cute and reminded me how much I use to love the Fraggles. I actually had to stop and think about what each of them sounded like so I could get a better sense of them in the comic I wandered around for the next few days with the theme song stuck in my head... and there it is again....

Dance your cares away. Worry's for another day. Let the music play. Down in Fraggle Rock

Antigoddess (Goddess War #1)

by Kendare Blake

333 Pages (10:28 Hours)

Old Gods never die…

Or so Athena thought. But then the feathers started sprouting beneath her skin, invading her lungs like a strange cancer, and Hermes showed up with a fever eating away his flesh. So much for living a quiet eternity in perpetual health.

Desperately seeking the cause of their slow, miserable deaths, Athena and Hermes travel the world, gathering allies and discovering enemies both new and old. Their search leads them to Cassandra—an ordinary girl who was once an extraordinary prophetess, protected and loved by a god. 

These days, Cassandra doesn’t involve herself in the business of gods—in fact, she doesn’t even know they exist. But she could be the key in a war that is only just beginning. 

Because Hera, the queen of the gods, has aligned herself with other of the ancient Olympians, who are killing off rivals in an attempt to prolong their own lives. But these anti-gods have become corrupted in their desperation to survive, horrific caricatures of their former glory. Athena will need every advantage she can get, because immortals don’t just flicker out. 

Every one of them dies in their own way. Some choke on feathers. Others become monsters. All of them rage against their last breath.

The Goddess War is about to begin.

I picked this book up because I really enjoyed Blake's Three Dark Crown series. But the 3rd one isn't out in audio form yet, si I though I would give this one a go. Like a lot of Urban Fantasy, the first book of the series didn't start out very strong. It's not that it was bad, it just seemed to be ramping up. As in setting the stage for the later books. The Olympians were interesting and I loved reading about them, but Cassandra and her posse were down right boring most of the time. Again, I realize that not much can happen until they find her and get her on their team. I will read the next book for sure, hoping that it will follow the trend of always getting better.

The Young Queens (Three Dark Crowns 0.2)

by Kendare Blake

112 Pages

Three black witches, born to a descending queen. One would rise to become queen in her place. Perhaps the strongest of the three. Perhaps the cleverest. Or perhaps it would be the girl born under the best shield of luck.

Katharine, Arsinoe and Mirabella - three young queens born to fulfil their destiny - to fight to the death to win the crown. But before they were poisoner, elemental and naturalist, they were children, sisters and friends . . .

I find it strange that there seems to be a trend of writing these novellas that fir in between other books. I mean, I get it, but I just find that most of them aren't very good and don't really fill my need of them. This was one such book. It was ripe with possibility, but the mark was totally missed. She could've written the entire thing about Arsinoe's attempted escape from the island, but she just skipped over it entirely. I don't get it. It was okay, and I liked reading about the Black Cottage and the old Queen, but the rest fell flat for me. 

Lumberjanes (Lumberjanes #4)

by Noelle Stevenson, Grace Ellis & Brooke A. Allen

27 Pages

After a lot of convincing, the girls are able to agree to get Jen to take them on a hike. Making their way up to the tower and hoping to finally get some answers, they make their way closer only to be stopped by the neighboring boy camp! April, Mal, Molly, Jo, and Ripley have to figure out how to get to the tower, even if they have to use Jen as a distraction to do it.

Another great comic! I still really love this story line. Sadly this was the last comic I had so I have to go out and get the rest so that I can find out what happens next.

The Emperor and I (The Emperor and I #1)

by Mato

147 Pages

One day something emerges from high school girl Kaho’s refrigerator—an emperor penguin, the largest of all penguins! When this emperor joins the household, fun and wacky antics with family and friends ensue!

When I was a little girl, I used to dream about one day having a pet penguin and all the fun things that we would do together. This comic made me long for those dreams again. I've got to admit, I've been looking a little longer and harder into the fridge every time I open it. Can't wait to read more.

Herding Cats (Sarah's Scribbles #3)

by Sarah Andersen

108 Pages

Adjusting to life as a world-famous cartoonist isn't easy. Terrifying deadlines, piles of junk-food wrappers under a glowing computer screen, and an ever-growing horde of pets....umm, never mind--it's pretty much the same.

With characteristic wit and charm, Sarah Andersen's third collection of comics and illustrated personal essays offers a survival guide for frantic modern life: from the importance of avoiding morning people, to Internet troll defense 101, to the not-so-life-changing futility of tidying up. But when all else fails and the world around you is collapsing, make a hot chocolate, count the days until Halloween, and snuggle up next to your furry beacon of hope.

This book wasn't long enough. I loved it so much and I want it to go on forever. This comic always finds the right spot of funny, sad and relatable that I love so much. I hope she puts out more books in the future.  

The Winter Long (October Daye #8)

by Seanan McGuire

358 Pages

For once, it seems like the Kingdom of the Mists has reached a point of, if not perfection, at least relative peace. Queen Arden Windermere is getting settled on her family's throne; no one's going to war with anyone else; it's almost like everything is going to be okay. Even October "Toby" Daye is starting to relax her constant vigilance, allowing herself to think about the future, and what it might entail.

And then Simon Torquill comes back, and everything begins to fall apart. In Faerie, nothing stays buried forever. No matter how much you might want it to.

After 8 books, I finally thought all of my questions would be answered. Turns out only some of them were. I need more answers! I guess I'll just have to keep reading. Good thing I've got the next book sitting on my shelf just waiting for me. As always, it was hard to put this book down at any time. Usually it was because my eyelids were getting too heavy and I kept reading the same paragraph over and over.

Leia, Princess of Alderaan (Journey to Star Wars)

by Claudia Gray

409 Pages (9:53 Hours)

A LONG TIME AGO IN A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY....THERE WAS A PRINCESS WHO BECAME A LEGEND.

Sixteen-year-old Princess Leia Organa faces the most challenging task of her life so far: proving herself in the areas of body, mind, and heart to be formally named heir to the thrown of Alderaan. She's taking rigorous survival courses, practicing politics, and spearheading relief missions to worlds under Imperial control. But Leia has worries beyond her claim to the crown. Her parents, Breha and Bail, aren't acting like themselves lately; they are distant and preoccupied, seemingly more concerned with throwing dinner parties for their allies in the Senate than they are with their own daughter. Determined to uncover her parents' secrets, Leia starts down an increasingly dangerous path that puts her right under the watchful eye of the Empire. And when Leia discovers what her parents and their allies are planning behind closed doors, she finds herself facing what seems like an impossible choice; dedicate herself to the people of Alderaan--including the make she loves--or the galaxy at large, which is in desperate need of a rebel hero.

I wanted this to be amazing. It wasn't. It was still pretty good though. My main concern with it was that Leia didn't feel like Leia. She didn't have that cockiness and temper that makes her who she is. She felt a little more like a generic fantasy heroine in a Star Wars novel. This book is more about her "coming of age" and felt a little young at times. I loved that Amilyn Holdo (aka the kick-ass purple-haired Vice-Admiral from The Last Jedi) was a character in it and that her and Leia were friends, but at times she felt like she was just Luna Lovegood in a different skin.

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